Holden' On

I have a rich inner life. I’m not sure how often that comes across, at its best, as mysterious or, more accurately on the surface, vapid or like I don’t have much to say or contribute. One might think maybe I don’t have an opinion or know the facts, or there’s not much depth over here. I’m sure there are times when I get it wrong, but I trust my intuition. This relationship with myself causes me to value intimacy, and I’m not sure how I can explain why. But it’s why I write in a first person narrative. I like the intimacy. I try to foster the intimacy. 

How many times have you been asked which superpower you wished for? As much as I would love to fly or be invisible, I vote for mind reading because I’m curious what’s in your head too. That’s what a first person narrator invites a reader to do, come into the recesses of their most private thoughts, baring it all, even the hard and ugly parts.

But narrators are not all equal, and there are shortcomings in one person’s perspective. Sometimes the only indicators of other characters’ thoughts are found in the dialogue, sometimes their actions. Do you remember when you found out that Holden Caufield was not a reliable narrator? He does admit he’s a fantastic liar right away. Or Nick Carraway? Nelly and Lockwood? While I wouldn’t consider Meredith, in The Setting Sun, an unreliable narrator, the story is still one-sided. But the one-sidedness reflects the nature of the story, a woman’s journey through relationships and how to make sense of them.

I was listening to a panel of authors recently. One spoke of never writing in first person to avoid readers wondering if the stories he told were truly about him, a valid concern. I think some writers would tell you they begin to create a character (including the narrator) based on someone they know or an amalgam of multiple people, their strong features and characteristics can offer inspiration. I do this too, but under the push and pull of creativity, it’s a wonder how they evolve into something new.